Sunday, April 4, 2010

The Poof Strikes Back

I've been subject to many a scowl here in Italy. Not just in Florence, but everywhere. I tell Italians, when they ask me which state I'm from, that I'm from New Jersey. I'm proud to be from New Jersey and I always tell them so. I've gotten alot of different reactions from Italians about my place of residence. A smirk, a guffaw, condescending remkarks about Jersey, outright rage, and inevitably, questions about whether or not I know the show "The Jersey Shore". Because, guess what readers, Italians hate New Jersey. The hate "The Jersey Shore", they hate "The Sopranos", they hate the fact that New Jersey claims to have better tomatos then them, and they hate that New Jersey is the capital in America for Italian-Americans. Why do they hate that? Because shows like "The Jersey Shore" and "The Sopranos" stereotype Italians and make them look bad. They think that New Jersey really wants to be New Italy and they hate that. They hate that we have brought parts of Italian culture to New Jersey. Especially since New Jersey is the number one made fun of state in America. I've got a friend who owns a shirt that says "Friends don't let friends live in New Jersey". Italians all agree. "New Jersey? Ahh, cattivoooo!"

I'm really pissed off at you Italians who think we Jerseyans are slanderizing your country. If you think we're so bad WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STARTING WITH THE FUCKING POOF? I hate girls that poof their hair back home. I think that A. it looks ridiculous and B. it is a statement to how hard you're trying, and failing, at being an Italian-American. Girls from north Jersey and Staten Island think that the poof is something very very Italian to do. I'm sorry to say that the more Italian you think you are in New Jersey, the better you think you are. THE POOF STRIKES BACK! For a while I had some blessed relief from the poof. I didn't see processions of girls walking by sporting poofs, with their bangles and tight, bright blue dresses. I saw a poof once in a club here in Florence, though, a while back. I ignored it. It was probably some girl from Jersey here, like me, to study. One poof turned into two or three at the club and I attributed this to the fact that unfortunately the show "The Jersey Shore" is being watched by every teenager in all of the United States (most young adults, too) and so the poof must be catching fire in much the same way as Justin Beiber. Bad fashion, and bad music, is an unfortunate fact of life. I went out just the other night to another club and what do you know, half the girls are wearing poofs. Okay, its vacation time, more Americans means more poofs, I guess. WRONG! I went to a club up in Northern Italy, an Italian club so Italian that I was literally the only English speaking person (and yes, this is kind of shocking). It was a younger crowd, mostly teenagers, and guess what? All the girls had poofs.

Poor Italy has been being defamed by New Jersey. Boo hoo. If you dislike Jersey so much stop wearing the fucking poof. It is the single worst thing about New Jersey.
Arrivederci, for now.
Love, Gabby

No comments:

Post a Comment